


she's a mess of gorgeous chaos & you can see it in her eyes

by franceslaurens



Series: twin laurens verse [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lowercase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/franceslaurens/pseuds/franceslaurens
Summary: frances is a firework, john thinks.perhaps "firework" is too strong a word. or perhaps it's not strong enough.john doesn't know. he's never been very good with metaphors. frances has always been better with words.~or, the one where john reflects on his sister's anger





	she's a mess of gorgeous chaos & you can see it in her eyes

frances is a firework, john thinks.

perhaps "firework" is too strong a word. or perhaps it's not strong enough.

john doesn't know. he's never been very good with metaphors. frances has always been better with words.

what john means is, his sister can be angry and loud and she can blow up at any minute.

maybe that makes her dynamite?

she's always been an angry person. well, not always. she used to be very bubby and happy and just... positive. john can't remember a frances laurens without angry eyes and an almost permanent frown, though. but their sister tells him what frances was like, and john trusts martha to not lie to him.

he thinks she started losing that... that spark, when their father became abusive. it had started off with him yelling at frances, calling her names. but frances dealt. as long as none of her siblings were getting hurt, she was fine.

it makes john sad to think about.

but then henry started throwing john around. started calling him names, too, started using him as a punching bag.

that's when frances started becoming angry with the world.

well, actually, she just started off with being angry with their father.

she would tell him off, fight back. she'd yell and scream and hit him.

she fought fire with fire, john thinks. 

then their mother and little brother, james, died. 

frances had been somewhat religious beforehand, but then, she... she stopped believing. 

she stopped believing in a higher power, in happiness, in fairness. she kind of hardened herself to avoid feeling the disappointment that came with losing hope.

she became a rock then, john supposes. and not the good kind, the kind of rock that would ground john. she was pretty much as emotional as a rock.

she was hard to reach emotionally. it felt like she was a different person.

john thinks that he lost a sister and best friend when mom and james died.

but it's okay, he tells himself. it's okay it's okay it's okay.

that's about the time she became much more irritable, much easier to set off. she was self-conscious, and any comment about her personality or appearance or abilities would make her scream her head off.

it... it scared john. it scared him to see his best friend become a... well, he doesn't want to say "a monster," it made his sister sound  dangerous. but it was true. she was a monster. sadly.

she was mad mad mad, all the time. she had started reminding john of their father and he hate hate hated it. she'd almost always take her anger out on him and, on one memorable occasion, she took it out on mary eleanor. the five year old girl had cried for hours.

john thinks frances regrets it. well, he hopes.

but that was years ago. she's better now. john thinks she is, at least. she's much happier now. there are still times where she gets angry, but john doesn't expect her to get back to her old happy self overnight.

frances was getting better everyday and john couldn't be more proud of her. sure, the withdrawals were bad, and sure, she sometimes was so angry that being around anyone would set her off even worse. 

but that was okay. john was okay with it. with all of it. he would hold frances through the shakes from withdrawals and he'd leave her alone when she needed it. 

frances was kind of a hurricane with soft, broken eyes and a heartbeat. but that was okay because john always saw the beauty in destruction and john wouldn't stop trying to help her until she became a gentle breeze rather than a harsh hurricane.


End file.
